It's been a really tough week for me, and it's not even over yet. As some of you already know, my Aunt passed away on Tuesday. And as you might think, it's pretty much all I can think about. Her death was sudden, but at the same time, I knew it was coming. She had been struggling with alcoholism for several years, and it finally caught up to her. She went into the hospital about a month ago with liver and kidney failure. At the time, the doctors didn't know the severity of the situation, but regardless, I knew that she wouldn't last very long. I have been in a slow process of mourning ever since that original hospital stay occurred, but it did little to prepare me for the inevitable.
I am in mourning now, as you would think, but not for myself. I do miss my Aunt. She shared her birthday with me, her favorite football team was the same as mine, and I have countless found memories of her from my younger years. She was always joyful, always laughing, smiling, cracking jokes with the family. She was always the one who cheered loudest for my cousins- her sons- while at their sports games. I will miss her terribly, and our family will always feel the loss of her presence. But my mourning is not for my own loss. It is for the loss and hurting of the rest of my family. For my grandmother, who is now experiencing the first loss of a child. For my Uncle, who has lost his wife of 23 years. I mourn for my cousins, who have lost their mother. My youngest cousin is still in high school, and now will not have his mother at his graduation this summer. I mourn for my Aunt's family who, although I did not know them, I can only imagine the pain that they're feeling right now with the loss of their daughter, sister, granddaughter. I do not mourn for myself, but for all those around me right now who are hurting so deeply, and yet I can do nothing to take away their pain.
My Aunt's service will be on Monday, in her hometown in Washington. My family will be driving up there this weekend, and will be staying for as long as we can. Please, send your prayers to my family.
"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." Matthew 5:4